The Unseen Struggles of Working Mothers: A Personal Journey

Reading recent articles by Corinne Hirsch and Welcome to the Jungle, I found myself resonating deeply with the shared experiences of many women who struggle to balance their careers with motherhood. As a French woman living in Germany, I have navigated similar challenges, and these stories compelled me to reflect on my own journey, marked by the roles of primary breadwinner and dedicated caretaker, and the toll motherhood penalty has taken on my career.

The Balancing Act: Career vs. Family

In my professional life, the need to provide for my family while ensuring their well-being often dictated my career choices. Accepting low-reward, short-term assignments became a necessity, as long-term planning seemed a luxury I couldn't afford. Although I am to no means impoverished, thanks to a solid education and supportive parents, the compromises I made have undoubtedly shaped my career trajectory towards a lower professional path than expected.

Early in my career, I faced a significant sacrifice. I turned down a remarkable promotion that would have involved overseeing numerous subsidiaries for a large corporation. This role required relocating to a German town with inadequate childcare options for my then 5 year old son. The lack of full-time kindergartens and live-in help made it impossible to balance the job with my familial duties. I often wonder how different my career path might have been had I taken that opportunity.

During job interviews, that is if my CV and I make it that far, I frequently need to justify my series of short-term roles, knowing that without context, it can appear unreliable to recruiters. This is the reality I live with, like many current or former single mothers, striving to achieve the best I can despite the constraints.

The French Perspective: Balancing Work and Family

In France, the school system and cultural norms are somewhat more supportive of working mothers. Women can work longer hours, but societal expectations still push them towards careers that typically offer lower pay and fewer growth opportunities. Additionally, household chores remain predominantly a woman's responsibility, reinforcing the perception of women as the lesser financial contributors in families.

The German Conundrum: Career or Children

Germany presents a different but equally challenging landscape. Women initially seem to have equal opportunities, but they are eventually forced to choose between career and children. Although there have been improvements in the past 10-20 years, it is still not widely accepted for women to work full-time after having children. Most children's activities are scheduled with the assumption that mothers will be available in the afternoons, leading to a significant number of women in managerial positions being childless.

Invisible Battles and Persistent Inequality

Despite advancements towards gender equality in both countries, women continue to face numerous, often invisible, battles. For instance, schools typically contact mothers first if a child needs to be picked up, and it is usually the mother who is expected to stay home with a sick child. The societal expectation is for mothers to put their careers on hold until their children are independent.

During job interviews, women are frequently questioned about their ability to manage work and family responsibilities—a question rarely posed to fathers. Moreover, the gender pay gap remains a persistent issue, growing over time due to lower starting offers, maternity leaves, and missed training or promotion opportunities.

The Reality of Struggle and Resilience

Corinne Hirsch's Article highlights the harsh realities faced by single mothers in France. A significant portion (82%) of single-parent families are headed by women, many of whom face financial difficulties despite being employed. Single mothers are often trapped in temporary, part-time, and low-skilled jobs, and they are more susceptible to harassment and poor working conditions. This mirrors some of the challenges I have faced, whether as a single mother or now for many years while continuing to support my family during times when my husband was not consistently employed.

The article from Welcome to the Jungle highlights personal stories that mirror my own experiences to some extent. Whether an engineer, a life insurance manager or lawyer, many women faced career obstacles due to motherhood, reflecting systemic barriers that impede their progress. These stories underline the broader context of what many women, including myself, endure.

Hopes for the Future

My journey has been filled with battles, leaving me not entirely unscathed. Although it is not over, I have not achieved the professional heights I once dreamed of as a young girl. However, my hope lies in the future, for the next generations, including my own daughters. I wish for them a world where they do not have to struggle as much to find fulfillment in both their personal and professional lives.

My story and so many others need to remind us of the ongoing struggle for gender equality in the workplace. They highlight the importance of systemic changes to support working parents better, such as improved childcare options, more flexible work arrangements, and policies that do not penalize women for having children.

Conclusion: Striving for Balance and Equality

In sharing my story, I hope to shed light on the realities faced by many working mothers and inspire conversations that lead to meaningful change. It is essential to recognize and address the unique challenges women face in balancing career and family, ensuring that future generations can pursue their ambitions without compromising their personal lives.

As we continue to advocate for equal opportunities and fair treatment in the workplace, it is crucial to support each other and share our experiences. By doing so, we can collectively work towards a more inclusive and equitable future, where both men and women can thrive in their careers and personal lives.

In conclusion, my journey, like many others, has been one of navigating the complex interplay between professional aspirations and familial responsibilities. While there have been sacrifices and missed opportunities, there is also hope for a future where the next generation of women can achieve their dreams without facing the same struggles. As I re-enter the job market, I am hopeful that I can avoid taking another low-paying, short-term job and instead find a position that aligns with my long-term professional goals. Let us continue to strive for a world where work-life balance is not just a possibility but a reality for everyone.